From a female Patsmart reader
I'm 18 years old, I'm living with my aunt. Recently, I notice the way my aunt's husband looks at me, like he gives me this look that always make me feel uncomfortable even when I look away and look back he still does it. Whenever we are alone in the living room, he starts asking me questions that I don't expect him to ask me. For example, "Do you have a boyfriend?" "I really want us to be close, like I always want you to be honest with me when we talk" and am like, "Is he really serious right now". At times when I'm upstairs in my room, he calls me to come downstairs & stay with him, so that we can talk
At end of the day, he goes on in wanting to know everything I do, who calls me, who hangs out with me, if I have a boyfriend, I generally try to avoid the conversation with him.
The other time when I was watching a movie on my laptop and was lying down on the couch in the living room, he came in and started touching me on the legs as he was asking me what movie I was watching, I told him, but he still kept touching me on the legs and the next thing, I felt his hands on my laps, I didn't know what to do, I was looking for the courage to tell him to get his hands off me, but it wasn't there. Then I got uncomfortable and left the living room.
Another time I was in the kitchen eating cucumber, he came in and asked me to give him, but i told him that I've already put in my mouth, and he said he doesn't mind, but i told him no and left, ever since then i created an attitude of hate towards him, i respond rudely to him and ignore him at times, he even noticed it, but didn't say anything. Rather he went to my Aunt and was reporting me, saying bad things to her about him that i never did to him, he even went ahead to tell her about the Cucumber incident, but this time around, he twisted the whole situation, saying that i was yelling at him and told him to get out! that i won't give him my cucumber, he didn't even say the part of me putting in my mouth already.
My aunt confronted me about it and i said to her that i thought he was joking when he asked me for the cucumber and i decided to joke back at him by telling him that i won't give him (But i never said the part that i already had the cucumber in my mouth) Initially, that was what happened, it was a joke all together, but he wanted to get to me, since i decided start ignoring him. My aunt yelled at me and i didn't find it funny, it made me hate him more and he could see it and my aunt also testify to that. Another issue we had was the time i put gas into one of his cars to use for my driving lessons, he knew that i used my money in putting the gas in the car, and he decided to use the car and ended up using all the gas, so My brother told me he was the one who used up all the gas, i went to him and told him politely that he used up the gas i put in his car, and i was going to use it for my driving lessons, he started acting like he doesn't even know what i was talking about, then my aunt walked in and he started laughing saying that i was asking him to pay for the gas he used in his own car, i got mad and left.
My aunt called me again asking me why i confronted him without telling her, saying that i have no right to ask him to payback for the gas he used, that it's his car, and i should never confront him, i should come and tell her, that what i did was so dis-respectful She also said that the way i confront him at times always makes her wonder if i hate him, that what gives me the audacity to confront him like that, but she doesn't even know it's because of what happened between us, when he touched me and also how he said he wanted us to be close. i left her and kept asking myself how was my action dis-respectful, i only ask him to pay me back the gas he used. now a bigger problem went on today, one of his cousin came to stay with us, she normally goes to work in the morning, and it's his job to be dropping her off every time, but at times my brother drops her off when he drops me off to school. i was almost getting ready for school, and i told my brother i was done, the woman was actually sleeping when i was telling my brother i was ready to go to school, but she overheard us and came out saying that her brother(My aunt's husband) wasn't around, that she didn't know i was going to school today that i should please wait for her let her get ready, so that my own brother could drop us all off, so i told her fine i''ll wait for her, even though i was very late to go to school and it's h an hour drive to my school.
Patiently waiting for her, my aunt's husband came back immediately, i greeted him and i was happy that he came back, at least he will drop his sister off, i ran upstairs to tell her that her brother was back and he will be the one dropping her off since she's still in the shower and can't wait anymore, immediately, my aunt's husband was downstairs, and he heard me when i was talking to his sister, he started shouting saying, what do i even mean that he will be the one dropping her off, that he just came back this and that, so i said politely to him, that i know but i'm late for school, my class has already started as i'm talking to u right now, he replied saying that he doesn't care if my class has stared that it's none of his business, that his sister whose job starts like in the next 2 hours must follow us and i and my brother should wait for her. i got mad, but i didn't say anything it was my brother who started shouting saying that he is not waiting for anybody and i was late for school, telling him if i'm waiting for her, it's mine business and I'll go to school late, my aunt's husband still shouting and yelling, i came downstairs saying that i won't wait and i don't care too. When my aunt came back he told her everything saying that i insulted him, by saying "i don't care too" and am like you were the one who started shouting unnecessarily when you're not suppose to shout, saying you don't care if i go late to school, he never denying saying that to my aunt, but annoyed me most wad that my aunt ignored what he said and was more focused on the reply i gave to him, which i never said in his face, she was shouting, they were both shouting at me, my aunt started saying that she doesn't understand why i hate him, she came up with gas and cucumber incident again, she just painted me black in front of him making me feel like it's my fault, my aunt's husband said that he if ever insult him again, i'll leave his house. So i got mad and told my aunty everything, that he touched me! he wanted the cucumber in my mouth! he wants us to be close!, then when i looked at him, his jaw was dropped he couldn't believe i'll say something like that. My aunt's face changed, she started asking me what really happened and i told her everything, she now said no wonder! that she always wonder why i hate him, she started asking her husband, the idiot did not deny touching me rather he called it a playful touch, saying things like can't he joke with me, and i replied saying by touching me on the legs is now a joke, my aunt didn't find the allegation that i was accusing her husband, she even asked me to come and demonstrate how he was touching on her own body, i refused, he said, oh! you see" she doesn't want to, so i got angry and went over to my aunt to describe the touch, she asked me what i wearing that day, i told her i wearing a short, she asked me if it was an innocent or sexual touch, i didn't even know what to say to her again, at the otherhand her husband was shouting saying if it was like that i''l leave their house, he got angry and left the house, my aunt now said to me, i should tell her exactly what happened and i did, she ended up concluding that if it's like that i'll leave their house, because there is no way i and her husband will never be in peace together, even if i said it was an innocent touch, am wrong for trying to use that against him because of how he said i insulted him, on the other hand if it was sexual, then am leaving their house to avoid trouble between them. i said nothing to her, but she has concluded her mind that am leaving their house, she told i should go to bed tomorrow morning we will talk about it again, i really don't know what to do or even who to talk about it with, i really need help, please!
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